Monday, April 8, 2019

Pope Francis to Newlyweds "For married life there are three key words.... "Can I?", "Thank you", "Sorry".

Meeting with newlyweds at Pastoral visit to San Giulio Papa parish


Holy Father, His presence today for all of us is a source of joy, of great emotion. It almost seems like a dream to have you in the places where for three years, on the initiative of our father Dario, there have been meetings on the path to the sacrament of marriage. Below I read some reflections on the conjugal love that emerged during our meetings.

Love is the gift of God that makes us feel protected, makes us rejoice in order to grow old together after a journey and a journey of life taken by the hand. Love is choosing oneself and understanding, seeing over time that even after years of marriage one is convinced that the choice made is the right one and, if we are ready to confirm and renew the choice, we resume ourselves. Love is giving oneself with patience, knowing how to listen, having the enthusiasm to look for oneself. Love is self-respect, but love is also knowing how to accept the weaknesses of others, the mistakes, the misunderstandings, the small human storms that often arise in married life. Love is being aware that the couple always sees and feels the presence of Jesus, it is the awareness of sharing and living in three. A couple's love is a safe place, it's like the rock that challenges the bad weather on which our life is based, it's the place to always feel at home.


Holy Father, we are here after a journey, a journey, after meditating a word from a common friend who tells us that love is placed more in works than in words. And after this and after a long discernment, and after above all the work of convincing Father Dario, the marriage preparation journey started again after so many years together with other couples. And some of these spouses asked us to be able to continue because they realized that this was just the beginning, it wasn't the end. The sacrament was the seal to begin. And therefore we meet every month, alternating prayer meetings and biblical meetings, in which instead we experience, we are confronted with couples of the Bible and this gives us great strength, great hope and makes us breathe a love greater than our own conjugal love. It makes us a family of families.


Holy Father, thank you for being here with us. It is a great joy because we arrive after the journey of Lent where we remembered together the gifts received. Deuteronomy 8: "Remember, Israel". We really feel lucky because we feel like people have been saved. Our journey together is from slavery to freedom as a couple. We are walking like this. We have prepared two symbolic gifts for you. One is the program of our course. We officially invite you, we invite you to participate. If you want, we will come to Santa Marta ... [laugh] We will then leave you the program, if you wish you can read it. The second gift is brought by our son, James, the firstborn. We have seen that he has already blessed faiths; we ask you to bless them again, because then we will exchange them ... These are the colors of your nation, Argentina, it is a gift for you. We will then try in the best way to remember the spouses of our wedding day, of our sacrament . The future spouses will have to have a little patience, they will resume the faiths, they will bring them with them already with His blessing. An added value. We really ask you to pray for us and we will do the same for you.

Pope Francis:

I like this because we think about marriage preparation. Once, in the "other diocese", a lady came, married for years, a little angry because she told me this: "You are unjust with us, because to become a priest you must study 8, 9 years. The bishop evaluates, the superiors evaluate the candidate and then accept him to be a priest; but then this priest goes ahead and if he does not like it, he takes another path and the Church tells him: yes, you can get married, go away and get married. And we, who [unite] for life, with 4 conferences set us up? No, it doesn't go. " Marriage preparation is not 4 conferences, all theoretical, no. And then it doesn't go. Preparation is a journey, it is a "catechumenate". When adults want to be baptized they must learn the doctrine, they must make a journey with the community. Marriage is the same, it is a catechumenate. Previous preparation is not only to know something about marriage but to live with the community, it is to hear other people's experiences, to share doubts. And then the catechumenate does not end there. It is very important that you continue after the wedding and that you accompany the first years, the first years of marriage. And I like to see that this is done here. Is very important.
I would only say two things. The first. For married life there are three key words, perhaps you know them, but they must learn with the mind and the heart: "can I?", "Thank you", "Sorry". "I can?". Always ask permission of the bride or groom, do not be intrusive, we are two. Yes, when I was alone I did what I wanted, but now you are two. Always say, "Can I?", Without being intrusive. "Thank you". Thank: "thank you". We forget to say thank you. It is so important that after lunch the husband would thank his wife: "Lunch was good". And after that, his wife, her husband ... Thanks. Thanks again, thanks for the children. And "sorry". Have the humility to say: yes, I was wrong, I'm sorry. Point, and the story ends. If there is not this third word, the story continues and is ugly.

And here the second thing I wanted to say. In normal marriages one quarrels, one argues. We must not be afraid to quarrel. When "the bomb" explodes I say three or four things, the dishes also fly, but the dishes are bought new, there is no problem ... But there is only one important thing: don't finish the day without making peace. Why? Because the cold war the next day is very dangerous. "Yes, but after all I've said and heard, how will I make peace?" Simple, do so [a caress] and bye. The story is over. The day ends in peace, and this saves so much pain. The three words and peace at the end. And don't forget about that cold war the day after that it's the worm that starts ruining a marriage.

Thanks, thanks for the testimony. Now we pray to Our Lady and Saint Joseph for you.


And come on, come on!

Meeting with the Caritas volunteers


Your Holiness, Your Eminence, Your Excellency, good afternoon, good afternoon to all of us, to all of you. I address you as a spokesman for parish charity. We represent a part of the community, one that is characterized specifically for concrete actions in favor of people in need. Welcoming you here is an extraordinary incentive to continue on the path undertaken following your invitation to offer concrete signs of solidarity before the temptation of indifference: the listening center, the collection and distribution of food, clothing and medicines, the food bank, which they go to touch the poorest part of our territory. Charity is also dealing with socializing through communication and the encounter with the circle of friendship, the embrace, the circle of men, the magazine and the website, aid to families with the presence of an after-school program that welcomes children every week , especially foreigners, and a family counseling center that offers valuable, truly valuable consultations. In this parish, the Gemma Project has been present since 1998 - perhaps following the example Saint John Paul II gave us - that helping mothers in difficulty to carry out pregnancy promotes the culture of life. Culture of life that even the community of Sant Egidio, present here with some of its representatives and present in our territory, encourages us to spread. We have also tried - she asked us in 2015 - to welcome a migrant; it was not possible for us, but we turned to other human frailties in our territory to integrate them, perhaps with a work contract and with our hospitality. This year then, collaborating with the diocesan Caritas, as regards the cold emergency we welcomed three people who presented our pastor to us with the commitment of many families in our community. There was a truly massive, moving initiative. We also have a blood collection service to donate to the Bambino Gesù pediatric hospital. Your Holiness, with this list I hope I did not give you the impression of a "supermarket of charity", an expression that the director of the diocesan Caritas used when he came here to make us understand that the parish is not the place where everyone enters, chooses something and leaves. I assure you that it is not so. We are in assiduous connection between us, we all move together, each with their own skills and with one goal, to reach out to the other in the name of the Gospel. We have a dream that we would like to realize and that we call "Solidarity Workshop". It is a project that needs space and the restructuring of existing ones, but which we would like to achieve with your consent and with the help of the diocese, if you can. In fact, in a short time the infant Jesus oncology pole will be born in our neighborhood: we would like to be ready to give hospitality and assistance to the families of the little patients. Through the acceptance of these multiple realities, even with our limitations, we strongly wish to share a broader idea of ​​the family, of the Church, in fraternal union between us and with others, as children of a single Father. 
We will not miss our prayers for your person and your mission for your pastoral ministry. We would also like you to bring a greeting to the Pope emeritus, His Holiness Benedict XVI. Last but not least, thank you, thank you, thank you for your precious presence!

Pope Francis:
I would say that there are three signs that show that a parish is fine. The first is prayer, when people pray: a parish that prays, people come to pray and even at home they pray. This is the first sign. See: here please or do not pray? And this is one of the things that avoid falling into that "supermarket" that we have heard. Because prayer transforms everything, everything. Second, it is the charity of facts, this that you do. Taking care of the needs of the brothers, sisters, families ... Even the hidden needs, which are not seen out of shame, but are there, there are many ... And always with that active charity, an active charity, the charity of the " yes ":" yes, I do this ", of" yes ", active. It is the second signal. And the third is passive charity. What does passive charity mean? May you love yourself and do not criticize yourselves. Gossip is a very strong disease, and when there is gossip in a parish, the parish is not good. It is a vice that enters, it enters subtly: bring news to talk about others ... No, please this is not right.

Now let's pray together the Madonna.
FULL TEXT Source and Image Share: - Unofficial Translation
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