Pope Francis says "Listen...Remember always: Never finish the day without making peace." FULL TEXT + Video
POPE FRANCIS at GENERAL AUDIENCE
Paul VI Audience Hall -Wednesday, 1st December 2021
Catechesis on Saint Joseph - 3. Saint Joseph: just man and husband of Mary
Dear brothers and sisters, good morning!
Let us continue our journey of reflection on the person of Saint Joseph. Today, I would like to deepen his being “just” and “Mary’s betrothed spouse”, and thus provide a message to all engaged couples, and newlyweds as well. Many events connected with Joseph fill the stories of the apocryphal, that is, non-canonical gospels, that have even influenced art and various places of worship. These writings that are not in the Bible are stories that Christian piety provided at that time and are a response to the desire to fill in the empty spaces in the canonical Gospel texts, the ones that are in the Bible, which provide you with everything that is essential for faith and the Christian life.
The evangelist Matthew – this is important. What does the Gospel say about Joseph? Not what these apocryphal gospels say which are not something ugly or bad, no! They are beautiful, but they are not the Word of God. Instead, the Gospels that are in the Bible are the Word of God. Among these is the evangelist Matthew who defines Joseph as a “just” man. Let us listen to his account: “Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child of the Holy Spirit; and her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to send her away quietly” (1:18-19). Because those who were engaged, when the fiancée was unfaithful, or became pregnant, they could accuse her! They had to. And the women were stoned back then. But Joseph was just. He says: “No, I am not going to do this. I will go away quietly”.
To understand Joseph’s behaviour toward Mary, it is helpful to remember the marriage customs of ancient Israel. Marriage included two well-defined phases. The first was like an official engagement that already implied a new situation. In particular, while continuing to live in her paternal home for another year, the woman was in fact considered the “wife” of her betrothed spouse. They still did not live together, but it was like she was already someone’s wife. The second phase was the transfer of the bride from her paternal home to that of her spouse. This took place with a festive procession which concluded the marriage. And the friends of the bride accompanied her there. On the basis of these customs, the fact that “before they came to live together, Mary was found to be with child” exposed the Virgin to the accusation of adultery. And, according to the ancient Law, her guilt was punishable with stoning (cf. Dt 22:20-21). Nevertheless, a more moderate interpretation had taken hold after this in later Jewish practice that imposed only an act of repudiation along with civil and criminal consequences for the woman, but not stoning.
The Gospel says that Joseph was “just” precisely because he was subject to the law as any pious Israelite. But within him, his love for Mary and his trust in her suggested a way he could remain in observance of the law and save the honour of his bride. He decided to repudiate her in secret, without making noise, without subjecting her to public humiliation. He chose the path of confidentiality, without a trial or retaliation. How holy Joseph was! We, as soon as we have a bit of gossip, something scandalous about someone else, we go around talking about it right away! Silent, Joseph. Silent.
But the evangelist Matthew adds immediately: “But as he considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit; she will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins’ ” (1:20.21). God’s voice intervenes in Joseph’s discernment. In a dream, He reveals a greater meaning than his own justice. How important it is for each one of us to cultivate a just life and, at the same time, to always feel the need for God’s help to broaden our horizons and to consider the circumstances of life from an always different, larger perspective. Many times, we feel imprisoned by what has happened to us: “But look what happened to me!” – and we remain imprisoned in that bad thing that happened to us. But particularly in front of some circumstances in life that initially appear dramatic, a Providence is hidden that takes shape over time and illuminates the meaning even of the pain that has touched us. The temptation is to close in on that pain, in that thought that good things never happen to us. And this is not good for us. This leads you to sadness and bitterness. A bitter heart is so ugly.
I would like us to pause to reflect on a detail of this story recounted in the Gospel that is often overlooked. Mary and Joseph were engaged to each other. They had probably cultivated dreams and expectations regarding their life and their future. Out of the blue, God seems to have inserted himself into their lives and, even if at first it was difficult for them, both of them opened their hearts wide to the reality that was placed before them.
Dear brothers and dear sisters, our lives are very often not what we imagine them to be. Especially in loving and affectionate relationships, it is difficult to move from the logic of falling in love to the logic of a mature love. We need to move from infatuation to mature love. You newlyweds, think about this. The first phase is always marked by a certain enchantment that makes us live immersed in the imaginary that is often not based on reality and facts – the falling in love phase. But precisely when falling in love with its expectations seems to come to an end, that is where true love begins or true love enters in there. In fact, to love is not the pretension that the other person, or life, should correspond to our imagination. Rather, it means to choose in full freedom to take responsibility for one’s life as it comes. This is why Joseph gives us an important lesson. He chooses Mary with “his eyes open”. We can say “with all the risks”. Think about this: in the Gospel of John, a reproof the doctors of the law make to Jesus is: “we are not children from that”, referring to prostitution. They knew how Mary had remained pregnant and they wanted to throw dirt on Jesus’ mamma. For me, this is the worst, the most demonic passage, in the Gospel. And Joseph’s risk gives us this lesson: to take life as it comes. Has God intervened there? I accept it. And Joseph does what the angel of the Lord had ordered: “He took his wife, but knew her not” – without living together she is expecting a son – “until she had borne a son; and he called his name Jesus” (Mt 1:24-25). Christian engaged couples are called to witness to a love like this that has the courage to move from the logic of falling in love to that of mature love. This is a demanding choice that instead of imprisoning life, can fortify love so that it endures when faced with the trials of time. A couple’s love progresses in life and matures each day. The love during engagement is a bit – allow me to use the word – a bit romantic. You have all experienced this, but then mature love begins, love lived every day, from work, from the children that come… And sometimes that romanticism disappears a bit, right? But is that not love? Yes, but mature love. “But you know, Father, sometimes we fight...” This has been happening since the time of Adam and Eve until today, eh! That spouses fight is our daily bread, eh! “But we shouldn’t fight?” Yes, yes, you must. It happens. I am not saying you should, but it happens. “And, Father, sometimes we raise our voices…” It happens. “And there are even times when plates fly”. It happens. But what can be done so that this does not damage the life of the marriage? Listen to me well: never finish the day end without making peace. “We fought. My God, I said bad words. I said awful things. But now, to finish the day, I must make peace”. You know why? Because the cold war the next day is very dangerous. Don’t let war begin the next day. For this reason, make peace before going to bed. “But, Father, you know, I don’t know how to express myself to make peace after such an awful situation that we experienced”. It’s very easy. Do this (the Pope caresses his cheek) and peace is already made. Remember this always. Remember always: never finish the day without making peace. And this will help you in your married life. To them and to all the married couples who are here. This movement from falling in love to mature love is a demanding choice, but we must choose that path.
This time too, let us conclude with a prayer to Saint Joseph.
you who loved Mary with freedom,
and chose to renounce your fantasies to give way to reality,
help each of us to allow ourselves to be surprised by God
and to accept life not as something unforeseen from which to defend ourselves,
but as a mystery that hides the secret of true joy.
Obtain joy and radicality for all engaged Christians,
while always being aware
that only mercy and forgiveness make love possible. Amen.
Je salue cordialment les pèlerins de langue française, en particulier le groupe d'amitié France-Italie. Alors que nous venons d'entrer dans le temps de l'Avent, demandons au Seigneur que, par intercession paternelle de saint Joseph, nous demeurions toujours comme des veilleurs dans la nuit, attentifs à voir la lumière du Christ dans nos frères les plus pauvres!
[ I cordially greet the French-speaking people, in particular the France-Italy friendship group. At the beginning of the season of Advent, we ask the Lord, through the paternal intercession of Saint Joseph, to always remain as sentinels in the night, careful to see the light of Christ in our poorest brothers. God bless you! ]
I greet the English-speaking pilgrims and visitors taking part in today's Audience, especially the groups from the United States of America. I pray that each of you, and your families, may experience a blessed Advent, in preparation for the coming of the newborn Savior of the world. May God bless you!
Ein herzliches Willkommen sage ich den Pilgern und Besuchern deutscher Sprache. In diesen Wochen des Advents bereiten wir uns auf die Ankunft Jesu vor, indem wir die Gestalten von Maria und Josef betrachten, die ihr Leben für das Wohl der anderen hingegeben haben. Der Heilige Geist begleite euch und eure Familien.
[ I extend a cordial welcome to the German-speaking pilgrims. In these weeks of Advent, let us prepare for the coming of Jesus, contemplating the figures of Mary and Joseph, who spent their lives for the good of others. May the Holy Spirit accompany you and your families .]
I cordially greet los peregrinos de lengua española. Hoy quiero dirme de un modo especial a todos los novios cristianos. Ustedes están llamados to testify to a love as el de María y José, un amor que pase del enamoramiento a la madurez, para que sea pleno y duradero. Pídanle a san José —que fue valiente en este paso— que los ayude a vivir el noviazgo con alegría y con radicalidad. Que Dios los bendiga. Muchas gracias.
Queridos fiéis de língua portuguesa, uma saudação fraterna para todos vós, em particular para or grupo de enfermeiras, enfermeiros and outros profissionais de saúde em serviço no "Centro de Vacinação anti-Covid, de Braga". Faço votos de que a visit hodierna ao Túmulo de Pedro and este encontro com o seu Sucessor vos infundam uma grande coragem para abraçardes daily a vossa cruz and um vivo anseio de santidade para poderdes encher de esperança a cruz dos outros. Confio nas vossas orações. Obrigado pela visit!
[ Dear Portuguese-speaking faithful, a fraternal greeting to all of you, in particular to the group of nurses, nurses and other health workers on duty in the "Anti-Covid Vaccination Center, Braga". I hope that today's visit to the Tomb of Peter and this meeting with his Successor will infuse you with great courage to embrace your cross day after day, and a deep yearning for holiness so that you can fill the cross of others with hope. I rely on your prayers. Thanks for visiting! ]
أُحَيِّي المُؤْمِنِينَ الناطِقِينَ باللُغَةِ العَرَبِيَّة. لنسأل القديس يوسف الذي أحب مريم بحرية, واختار أن يتخلى عن خياله ليفسح المجال للواقع, أن يشفع لنا, لنقبل المفاجآت من الله, ونستقبل الحياة مثل سر يخفي سر الفرح الحقيقي. بارَكَكُم الرَّبُّ جَميعًا وَحَماكُم دائِمًا مِنْ كُلِّ شَرّ!
[ I greet the Arabic-speaking faithful. We ask St. Joseph, who loved Mary with freedom and chose to renounce her imagination to make room for reality, to intercede for us, so that we allow ourselves to be surprised by God, welcoming life as a mystery that hides the secret of true joy. . The Lord bless you all and always protect you from all evil! ]
Serdecznie witam polskich pielgrzymów. Drodzy bracia i siostry, w niedzielę w Polsce obchodzony będzie „Dzień modlitwy i pomocy materialnej Kościołowi na Wschodzie”. Dziękuję wszystkim, którzy od ponad dwudziestu lat, z inicjatywy Konferencji Episkopatu Polski, wspierają Kościół w krajach Europy wschodniej i Azji modlitwą i ofiarami. Niech Pan wynagrodzi swoją łaską waszą hojną troskę or embers chrześcijan w potrzebie. Z serca wam błogosławię!
[ I cordially welcome the Polish pilgrims. Dear brothers and sisters, Sunday in Poland will be the "Day of Prayer and Aid to the Church of the East". I thank all those who for more than twenty years, welcoming the initiative of the Polish Bishops' Conference, have supported the Church in the countries of Eastern Europe and Asia with their prayers and donations. May the Lord reward with his grace your generous concern for the Christian brothers who are in need. I heartily bless you! ]
Today is World AIDS Day. It is an important occasion to remember the many people affected by this virus, for many of whom, in some areas of the world, access to essential care is not available. I look forward to a renewed commitment to solidarity to ensure fair and effective health treatments.
Tomorrow I will go to Cyprus and then to Greece to pay a visit to the dear peoples of those countries rich in history, spirituality and civilization. It will be a journey to the sources of the apostolic faith and fraternity between Christians of various confessions. I will also have the opportunity to approach humanity wounded in the flesh of so many migrants in search of hope: I will go to Lesvos . I ask you, please, to accompany me with prayer. Thanks!
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In greeting the Italian-speaking pilgrims, I turn my thoughts to the female religious institutes who are celebrating their General Chapter: the Sisters of Saint Joseph of Chambéry, the Missionary Sisters of the Catechism, the Missionary Sisters of the Catholic Apostolate and the Hospitaller Sisters of Mercy. . And these nuns are good, all of them! They are good. For each I invoke the continuous assistance of the Lord, so that moments of reflection and discernment strengthen them in the generous commitment of fidelity to the Gospel.
I greet the Hologram Group of Modena and I hope that the music, learned and performed with so much effort, will become a reminder to live with joy every season of existence. This orchestra has brought us so much joy and is made up of people who have that open way of tenderness more than others. They make music with that tenderness that is their way of being. Thank you so much.
Finally, as usual, my thoughts go to the elderly, the sick, the young and the newlyweds. To the elderly: do not neglect them and if you can keep them in your family, do not send them out because the elderly are our roots and should not be neglected. The season of Advent invites us to prepare for Christmas, fearlessly welcoming Jesus Christ who comes among us. If we open the door of life to him, everything acquires a new light and family, work, pain, health, friendship, and so on, become so many occasions to discover his consoling presence, the presence of Jesus in our life, presence of Emmanuel, of the God who comes, who means God with us and to testify this presence to others. Let's get ready in this way, opening our hearts for Christmas.