GETTING OUT OF OUR SELFIES
By Fr. Jean-Marie Bilwala Kabesa, IMC
Montreal,
Introduction - Since the arrival of social networks, the scale of the selfie has taken is a surprising fact with an exceptional character in its originality. The selfie has gradually become a part of the mobility sector and has become a completely normal part of everyday life. We often tend to blame the other person or others without asking ourselves questions about our own way of being and living. This article is the result of my reflection on my conception of the relationship with others. Using the image of the selfie, I want you to discover the quintessence of our responsibility towards others. The other is not a person to be fought or despised, but rather a person to walk with.
The Selfie - The word selfie is in itself just a variation of the English word "self'". According to the Oxford Dictionary, a selfie is "a photographic self-portrait taken with a digital camera, a mobile phone (smartphone or photophone), or even a webcam and then uploaded to social networks". Indeed, talking about selfies brings us back to the vast field of information and communication technologies. We won't dwell on situating the word selfie in its history and evolution. On the other hand, a limit to the interactionist aspect is essential.
Most of us have taken part in taking a selfie or own our own selfie. The selfie phenomenon we now live in has shifted the "I" to the center of attention, with all others becoming incidental. The basic human need to be recognized, even worshipped, is a temptation for many. At a time when "the duty to be the neighbor of others and to serve them actively is becoming more pressing (...)" (Catechism, No. 1932). The current affair with the selfie feeds this self-centered desire and can easily become an outsized attachment and sometimes an addiction that fuels our need for recognition. We only feel valued and accepted if we're at our best, which sometimes leads to posting a selfie that proves it. On the other hand, we are reluctant to post a selfie where our body is emaciated, our face withered, for fear of presenting a negative self-image. In this sense, we prefer to "wear a mask", that is, to show others only the positive aspect of our way of being or living.
My responsibility to others
The term "other" gives rise to some misunderstandings about its apprehension based on certain life experiences. Not all thinkers see it in the same way. For Jean-Paul Sartre, for example, hell is other people. On the other hand, for Charles Baudelaire, the other is both near and far. My attitude towards others automatically makes me responsible for them. Thus, as Fr. Amadeo Cencini pointed out, which I freely translate: "The Christian vocation is a call to responsibility, to the charge of the other; It's about acknowledging that others have taken care of me and that it's now completely natural for me to do the same. Other thinkers and humanists continue to leave their mark on our century through their approach to others. Their work is gigantic. Referring to Dostoevsky in The Brothers Karamazov, Levinas reminds us that "we are all responsible for everything and everyone, and I more than others." (p. 228). My responsibility to others is not only to do a good deed for them, but first and foremost to "give of oneself". It is exactly, "to be exposed to the call of others, to their requests, to their needs, (...) to give bread to the hungry, to clothe the naked, to offer a roof to the unfortunate" (quoted in Zielinski, p. 125).
Coming out of my selfies makes me discover that it is not only my ego that is central, but also the recognition of the other. I get to the point where I recognize that the other person is different from me, that he has values that I don't have and that I have to appreciate him as a common wealth. Thus, my selfie will prevent me from acting towards others by expecting something from them in return. If this were not the case, my action would not be responsible but simply a movement of the selfish self-back on itself. In that case, I would come to treat others as a means to self-satisfaction, and not primarily as an end. According to my little missionary experience, our interactionist approach is still in the stage of the selfie for personal enjoyment. As a result, others are sometimes treated as a means. This amounts to diminishing the other by considering him as an object. Whereas the Other, as Levinas says, "is first, I am responsible for others, and I must expect absolutely nothing in return." I see a problem that needs an immediate response. To do this, I use the Good Samaritan model. The latter did not try to find out why the dying man was attacked by the brigands. What is indispensable for him is to help the victim; Caring for others. His conscience pushes him towards the other who is in need. He becomes responsible for others. As Antoine de St-Exupéry says, "to be human is precisely to be responsible". On this subject, Jacques Lacan is clear, "the subject is therefore social, it needs the other to constitute itself".
Conclusion
Posting a selfie on a social network, Ann Brereton reminds us, makes people obsessed with likes. It is an addictive drug that ostracizes and depresses the person who does not receive the desired response. The resulting depression can have terrible consequences. This article is an invitation to readers to examine their conscience in their altruistic approach. Spending a lot of time looking at our selfies takes us away from others. The emphasis is much more on the "I" and the other is sometimes ignored, whereas by its very nature, "the human being is a being-for-others." It amounts to saying that he is capable of living for others and of being himself from others who are external to him. Thus, Lang says, quoting Levinas: "The other needs me to be, just as I need the other to be." (Quoted in Notebooks of Ignatian Spirituality).
Let's try to get out of our selfies, out of the "I, me, me" to experience the best in each other. This will allow us to see others as comrades in the struggle and not as adversaries to be crushed for our own survival. In the book of Samuel we read: "The LORD said to Samuel, 'Pay no attention to his appearance or the height of his stature, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not consider what man considers; a man looks at what strikes the eyes, but the Lord looks at the heart" (16:7).
Bibliography
Catéchisme de l’Église Catholique, Ottawa, Concacan Inc., 1998
Cencini, A., Il più piccolo di tutti i semi. Pedagogia della proposta e dell’accompagnamento vocazionale, Milano, Figlie di San Pietro, 2007.
Lang, V., « Jean Vanier, La Tendresse de Dieu, » dans Cahiers de spiritualité ignatienne/116, p.113-119, 2006.
La Bible de Jérusalem, La Sainte Bible traduite en français sous la direction de l’École biblique de Jérusalem, Cerf, Paris, 1974.
Lévinas, E., Autrement qu’être ou au-delà de l’essence, Paris, Le livre de poche. 1991
Lucan, J., Le stade du miroir comme formateur de la fonction de Je telle qu’elle nous est révélée dans l’expérience psychanalytique, dans XVIe congrès international de psychanalyse, Zurich, 17 juillet 1949.
Zielinski, A., Lévinas, La responsabilité est sans pourquoi, Paris, Presses universitaires de France. 2004.
Special to Catholic News World from regular writer Father Jean-Marie Bilwala Administrator and Episcopal Vicar in Montreal, Quebec, Canada.
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